


A Medicine That Kills

by INeedSomeCoffee



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bottom Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Gen, M/M, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Other, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Iron Man 1, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Top Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29246388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INeedSomeCoffee/pseuds/INeedSomeCoffee
Summary: Everything was finally okay. Steve had found Bucky and Tony had revived him back. What else is there to worry?Until, there is.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. Sooooooo, wassup? Say hi to the newbie, please?

"You will fall." Steve concluded. There was an unavoidable seriousness on his face when he said those words, "You will fall because you are already weak. He has loosened you, and you will regret it."  
However, Tony couldn't brought his mind to think about these warnings. He was too far gone above the consequences. Unlimitedly involved. And he knew, no matter how deep and truthful Steve's words might sound, they cannot bring Tony back from the height he has reached. 

  
"I have already fallen," Steve couldn't contemplate that loose smile lingering on Tony's lips when he said those words with serenity flaring over his face. He was in some kind of reverie. And Steve knew by that look, that Tony cannot fall out of it. "I am in love with him, Steve. So much. So much that it will be my death. I'd do anything. Everything. What has...what has he done to me?" Tony chuckled breathily. His eyes glinted with a different kind of light, too bright that it was almost unbearable to be seen. He did not understand the truth behind that humor, Steve thought. He do not know how right he is.

  
"What has he done to you." Steve stated before letting out an exasperated sigh. Tony was long gone before anyone could catch him. And now that that no one can, now that it was all Bucky that ruled his thoughts, it sounded like a dangerous Idea.

  
It wasn't dangerous at first, though. Steve was the one who has pushed them to have a connection at the first phrase. He wanted his old friend to get another friend, except himself. Although, now it feels like he had been too selfish. He couldn't see what kind of malicious affect Bucky could be having on Tony. And now when things are too far from his reach, Steve is worried.

  
They weren't supposed to be together, Steve thought without any covet intentions.

  
It is not that he despised what they have, he didn't. It was something quite unseen. Something too unnatural, and deeper than anything Steve could have seen in relationships. However, the problem is that they are not in a relationship. God, they cannot be. 

The problem is that Bucky wasn't ready for something like this, and Tony would have to live with it. And it wasn't Bucky' fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was what it was. Had to be done, anyways. One cannot avoid destiny. However, a part of Steve still regrets not taking any action beforehand. He could have done something. Anything. Could have stopped this connection before it turned serious and fragile in such a powerful way that breaking it would mean destroying worlds. 

He didn't even know why he is worried. Tony isn't weak. He isn't some petite doll who'd cry before people because he couldn't have a decent relationship. Tony was completely different. Kind, strong, understanding, accepting. Hell, Steve couldn't find enough words. Tony was everything good anyone could ever wish for in their life. And he just couldn't be happier enough that his best friend would get to have Tony. That beautiful, giving man who carved himself from coal into a bright, reflecting Diamond. Tony, who grew out of circumstances, took every bashing thrown upon him as a lesson, learnt from it and became stronger. Tony, who served dishes to their team and denied to enter their wholesome chitchat just so that the team could enjoy light snacks. Tony, making gadgets for all of them day and night, saving their lives, getting scolding from Fury when sometimes things didn't worked as they were planned, and cursing himself with sadness for all the wrongdoings happening around him. Tony, who'd overwork himself every goddamn night completing his team's pending works. 

There they were, the two most important persons in his life, colliding into each other, and Steve feared if this collision could hurt one of them beyond repair.

It began when Steve rescued his best friend from their long lost Enemy. So many years of damage that it had become an essential habit for his messed up guy. And even after so much efforts, when Steve bought Bucky home, he didn't quite know who Bucky was anymore. Or if there was even any part of him left. Whatever he was seeing after all these years was a mere living being with a beating heart and a workable brain. Bucky was useful for their Skilled forces, he was useful for Fury and the Commanders. But for Steve, he was Gone. 

  
What do I do of him? Steve had cried, asking that question a billion times to himself. This is not my friend. He looks at me with these blank, lifeless eyes that gives me nothing but nightmares. This is someone else. I lost my friend that exact time when I lost his hand and he slipped. I had seen him die, and whatever this is, it cannot be him.

An year later, Tony met Bucky. 

Steve didn't quite used to like Tony at the beginning. He is cocky, Steve had thought. I do not like Cocky people. I do not like those ones who go on flashing their wealth like it is needed. With hundreds of cameras on them and honeyed speeches too sweet that they stink of fakeness. It was all a show, Steve thought grimly. A pathetic, selfish show to keep one's dignity tall. Only, Steve was proven terribly wrong when he actually got to know the man.

  
Tony wasn't a bad man. Even though he carried this unknown immense sadness that was too hidden to be seen by anyone, he didn't let the crowd around him smile any less. Instead, he'd make them laugh. He waved to the media with the façade of that arrogant brat that people likes to have interest in, and then he would go onto his workshop and toil around limitlessly without a stop, making things he would never get any credits for. Tony was being eaten by something of the past, Steve had figured out till then by stealing his empty glances, and yet, not once Tony would let any one of his team get a hint of it. Tony was Steve's friend, and so was Bucky. 

  
It was like a dream come true when he had finally seen that tiniest, faintest smile on Bucky's face after almost a goddamn century that was brought up by some stupid, lame joke cracked by Tony. Not a laugh. Not even an almost smile, just a slight curl of lip too minuscular to be seen from far, but it was enough for Steve to seed a plant of Hope inside his heart that his friend was alive once again. 

Tony was that hope, and God, how beautifully he had kindled this responsibility since then. 

Within months, Bucky was almost human. He wasn't that ghost that lingered around Steve's nightmares anymore. His eyes were turning alive day by day, like they could almost convey emotions. His lips curled a little too often these days. He hadn't learned to freely laugh yet, but it was all a matter of time. He was strict, a bit less bothering at times, But yet, he was still that friend that Steve remembered. His soul was recognizable, and even so it was at eventful times, but he did show signs of care and remembrance. 

  
Steve wondered if it was because of this stupid sex routine that Bucky and Tony have been having since a while. Tony had proposed this to Bucky, and surprisingly, or more like unbelievably, Bucky didn't quite objected. Steve wondered how Tony hadn't received punches in return on such a daring approach. Is he that attractive that Bucky couldn't really deny much? Well, with those melting brown eyes and curled up hairs which made him look all the more younger, he probably is. 

Steve couldn't be more grateful to Tony. It was the greatest gift anyone could have ever given him, his best friend. It was almost as if Tony took Bucky, studied him, made some fixtures and toiled harder as ever to rebuild the old friend that Steve had lost a century ago.

Now, that everything is fixed, when everything is okay, Now, is the time to fear, Steve thought.

  
Is the sex that great? That freaking overwhelming? That much intense that it would force Tony into guarding in front of Bucky who was about to get shot by some of their Old Enemy Buddies on a mission, only for Tony to stand like an unprotected shield between them and taking the Bullet on his own shoulder.

  
What kind of thought must have pushed Tony into such a foolishness that he would rush against thousands of barriers with nothing on his body to guard, and would want to offer such an unguarded self of him just to protect Steve's best friend.

It was at that moment when Steve had understood, Tony had fallen. Deep. Tony had Fallen for Bucky, and there was no going back. Things are going to get worse from here. Because Tony would never force Bucky into a relationship, into a commitment. Because Tony knew Bucky wouldn't be ready for it. Because Tony would never tell Bucky that he had fallen for him. That he had felt something beyond sex. 

And Steve couldn't blame Bucky. Bucky was too much damaged to understand such feelings when he couldn't even return a basic smile to people. Steve let Tony fix him, but he couldn't save Tony from him. 

He realized that day what kind of pain Tony was about to go through when they both had to leave him at the terrace, wounded with a shoulder that oozed blood by the bullet that was to be shot on Bucky.

"Leave my hand, Steve! Are you nuts?! He's fucking bleeding. He's... he's..." Bucky was screaming at the top of his voice. It was the first time he had shown an emotion so strong after ages, and as much as Steve want to celebrate his friend's liveliness, he couldn't avoid that harsh crinkle in Bucky's tone when he shouted at the top of his lungs to fly back.

If there was something more disturbing than his voice, then it was his eyes. Because they stared from the sky at that alone, lying figure of Tony covered in blood when Tony kept looking at his way for as long as his eyes could remain open.

Steve couldn't leave Bucky's hand. Not this time. He couldn't let go of his friend all over again. He didn't cared if it was selfish, it was a need so strong that he feared what he'd do without it. There were Enemies at every direction of that Terrace, and Steve knew that Tony would survive there even without them, because these people would have to think a billion times before attacking Tony in front of the Media. However, it would not have been the same for both of them. Once Bucky would have approached further, there'd be a series of bullets casted over his form that would have crossed through even that hard plated uniform of the Winter Soldier.

It felt like a betrayal committed on their part. But Steve knew, there are more to come.

Tony didn't mind. Oh, he never would. And that was the tragedy. Tony would keep giving pieces of himself to others. But then, what would remain of him? 

If only, Bucky knew how to give back.

If only, Bucky can know.


	2. Chapter 2

"You promised, Stark. One week, that was all you had. And you promised that the new models will be up within the date. Rude it might sound to you, but don't do promises that you cannot keep."

"Okay, I won't from now." 

"And?"

"And what?"

"I'm waiting."

"I don't know what for."

"Stark..." Fury let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head in disappointment.

"Alright, I'm sorry." If Tony knew how to showcase apology as an expression, he would. But he didn't how to express much to Fury. He doesn't like when people look at him with those narrow eyes. Especially Fury. And added with the guilt, Fury probably gave him that look all the time. 

Gadgets. Guns. Machine's. Natasha's Bike. Clint's Arrow. Steve's Modified Suit. Damn, he was too far behind. If he didn't completed the work in time, he'll be welcomed with the same look in everyone's eyes as well. Oh, how he hated it.

"I am Sorry, Fury. Seriously, I don't know what I was doing. But I'll do things wisely now. I promise--no. I mean, Believe me, you'll get them. One more day."

"I'll believe you when you fix the damn models."

"I know! I know...just, one day. I'll make everything fine. All Good. Everything will be okay."

"Stark?"

"Uh...yes? Yes. Nothing. Fury, please. I am out of time right now, so can you kindly leave me to my work--"

"What are all those instruments over there?" Fury asked, glancing narrowly at the bunch of materials on Tony's work table that were mostly unfixed, swirling up in a complicated bundle. "Don't you have all of these left for a day too?"

"I know! It is not your problem, I'll fix it. One more day, and it'll be all done." Tony was muttering more to himself. As if trying to make himself believe that he could do it, making Fury all the more uncertain.

"Well then," Fury shrugged, sighing helplessly, "It is not my problem." He nodded at the materials. "Stark, one more thing."

Tony halted his steps that forwarded towards his Shop and turned around at Fury.

"Don't overwork yourself, you know how important you are to Shield. You might probably not be packed with so much stuff if we had better minds like yours. Unfortunately, we don't. So it is all you that remains to take the burden. Hence...yeah. Don't toil much."

"I know." Tony stated stiffly. He could feel his teeth clattering under his mouth and he didn't quite knew if it was frustration or the growing cold of January when he was wearing nothing but this Black Inner that he always wore, probably stinking of grease and his own sweat till then. He needs to have a shower. He don't have the time. 

"Very well then." Fury left as quietly as he had came.

Numbers. Counting. Suit. Guns. Gadgets. Arrows. Model. 

One day.

Once this will all be over, he'd work on something he really wants to, Tony thought, glancing at the Unmodified Metal Arm that rested securely under the glass frame in his workshop.

It's not that he doesn't mind working on other things, He loves to be an Engineer. Likes to study and fix things as if they had a heart of their own. All this work that he had, he would be able to finish it tonight because he has found immense interest in it. This is what had kept him going on. However, what gives him rest is working on that Metal Arm.

This rest of yours is merely much more work that does not needed to be done today. We have better things to do. Pending things that needed to be done right now, so stop thinking of ways to find better modifications for that one goddamn arm. Tony admonished himself, and just like all the time, didn't listen.

No. Tony warned strictly. Work first. That work, later.

It was late at night or something, or maybe it was almost morning. Tony couldn't fathom the light from this denseness, but whatever time it was, it was the time to stop. 

He sighed with content, looking at his finished works and smiling to himself, praising in the air by patting on his own shoulder. Soon enough, Tony winced. He realized he had patted that wounded part of his shoulder that wasn't allowed to be touched yet, by him or by anyone. The skin was still sensitive and blisteringly colorful. Many times, his tight inner touched the frail spot, and his face would scrunch up in twisted pain.

He hates such type of wounds. Clingy, less healing and taking attention almost every goddamn time. And yet...he didn't hated this one.

He has completely lost it, he thought while smiling softly.

Tony had been able to do something for him. This warm, fluttery thought clouded his mind and made it fuzzy all over until he couldn't really focus through his eyes. I've been useful to him. He is safe. He is okay. He is...

Thwack.

Tony turned around at the thud from beyond, his body jerking with a spasm when his floating thoughts were almost washed away by that violent noise. 

"Don't you ever feel like cleaning this mess?" He heard the familiar voice utter in irritation when one of their legs got stuck on the complicated wire lying on the floor. "It wouldn't let free!"

His eyes were smiling, and soon enough there was a short laugh escaping his lips without his permission. 

"Not Funny." Bucky warned. His eyes narrowing in silent threat as he watched Tony with an annoyed frown.

Tony bit his lips to control his grin, and just like that, he felt some kind of weariness drain away from his body. He never knew he was tired, until he felt fresh.

"Don't." Bucky stated another threat. Tony looked down, hiding his delighted face.

"Wait." Instructing him quietly, Tony rushed over to the wiring set and bent down, uncomplicating it step by step. Bucky silently observed, as Tony picked up pieces of stained wires around Bucky's feet, putting them on his palm carefully. "See? All done." Tony raised his head and looked up at him. A sweet, slow smile lingered on his lips and his eyes seemed to be melting with a newfound beam. 

Pretty adorable?

Tony thought if this was what Bucky might have thought, as when he stood up in front of him, there wasn't even a gap of a second when he was pushed back to the nearest wall with both of his hands held back by Bucky's one, tight fist. Silent breaths ghosted over his neck, and he could feel a vein popping over the heated skin that Bucky stared. 

"I.." Tony couldn't remember what he was about to say to him, "I made modifications for your arm. Better ones. You'd...you would like them. They won't hurt now, not anymore."

It was brave of him, speaking things when he was pinned like this. When there was not enough space for even air to surpass between them, Tony was letting out words. 

"Not needed." Bucky stated, simple and shallow as his eyes followed the movements of his finger running over Tony's nape. "No deadline for it. Fix it any time you like, or don't. As I said before, not needed."

"It will fit perfectly. I will make sure it's comfortable enough. That they leave no previous scars on the skin like before." Tony was speaking in the air, and it occurred to Bucky that he didn't quite heard anything other than his own voice.

There was silence for the next couple of seconds when Bucky took a look around the Workshop. Messed up machines everywhere and neatly prepared tools rammed up at the usual desk. Suit. Arrows. Models. Almost the same things everyday, and yet they keep changing their forms. It was wonderful how Tony was able to create something different every single day by the same bunch of things.

"What?" Tony asked, almost chuckling breathily when he stared at Bucky glancing meticulously over his eccentric equipments.

"I'm bored." Bucky turned back to Tony with a different kind of stare enveloping his eyes, darkening them.

A gentle smile formed over Tony's lips. His hand involuntarily raised to cup the back of Bucky's neck and there was contentment overpowering his eyes. Rest. Tony thought dazedly. This was the rest he needed, an hour of it, or maybe half, hell, even minutes would be enough to loosen up his body, take all the worries that bothered him and replace it up with some newfound alacrity.

You're not bored, Tony thought. You want me to sleep. All you need is an excuse to take me to bed and put me to sleep.

"You're bored." Tony repeated the words with much more softness as he fondly stared at those dark, lustrous eyes. "So..."

"So enough of it." Bucky nodded at the mess around them like a finality. "Take off your clothes and come to bed."

Before Tony could answer, a warm hand went under the tightness of his Inner and clasped his waist with a firm grip, fingers digging into the smoothness. Tony's answer converted into a gasp and he forgot how uneven his breaths were turning. He couldn't even grasp onto the sensation when more of it catapulted his senses like cataclysms as the warm, heated mouth of Bucky's was placed over Tony's nape and his world felt like slipping over a slide. Breathless moans erupted out of his mouth as Tony clasped onto the fizzle of Bucky's hairs like his lifeline when the other of his hand was strongly pinned under Bucky's.

Suddenly, he felt underdressed and couldn't even begin to fathom the stupidity of that thought. He had been wearing these clothes since days and never felt the need to cover up more, and all of a sudden, he could feel almost every uncovered part of his skin rise into goosebumps. A ridiculous tight inner and simple night pajamas. What a horrible, unattractive combination. What a--

"Ahhh..."

Tony let out a strangled moan as Bucky's finger travelled over the curve of his spine to the dip of his shoulder, ravishing all that hide inside that ridiculous cloth. He could feel a string of sweat streaking through his body, and the heat overpowering him like a long awaited euphoria.

"In me..." He muttered, breathless and clumsy that the words were swirling under his tongue. "I need you in me." He could feel the fan of Bucky's breathy chuckle over his neck, making him roll his eyes with the sudden spark of pleasure.

"Bed. now." Bucky instructed, before he almost carried Tony towards the nearby room and threw him at the bed.

Tony laid their senseless. His body had stopped moving, completely pliant, and his eyes were melting the warmest shades of brown as they collided with Bucky's. Every ounce of shame was leaving his skin and it felt like he was high on some kind of drug that he never remembered taking. He could feel every inch of his skin exposing in front of those eyes, his inner was raised up to his chest, exposing his stomach and the rippling muscles sculptured over it. 

"Please..." Tony pleaded, and he could feel his eyes dampen in need.

However, Bucky didn't moved.

One second.

Two seconds.

Tony felt like he was slipping. It was such a weird feeling. He was on the bed, and Bucky's eyes were guarding him. There's no way he could fall. 

"No." Bucky stated, looking down from a spot some where below Tony's neck. Over the shoulder. The bright, blistering, wounded shoulder. "Sleep."

"Ungh..huh?" Tony's mind shot back from whatever cloud he was in to the confusing reality in front of him. His eyes were long gone closed, and when he had opened them, Bucky wasn't there. 

"Sleep." He could hear the same faint voice whispering from Tony's door, before slamming it shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony isn't a chaser.

That sounded wrong, let's do it again.

Tony wasn't a chaser.

The man had his days when people loitered around him like bees because, why not? A young, handsome human with lavish clothes and money falling like nothing from his pockets is all any random stranger could wish for their nights. Besides, the point is that he had his days. He don't have them now.

Why? He don't know. It's not like someone is controlling him. He can have his share of fun. All that he needed was sex because he was literally begging for a release sometime back from Bucky who by the way, very respectively denied it in the most insulting way possible, if that made sense. No matter. He can just go to the club, wink at any random stranger and achieve his climax.

He didn't. Rather, he went back to repairing the Metal Arm in his workshop.

He had asked for it, Tony thought. Literally begged for it, and Bucky denied. God, he had never asked for it from anyone in his life. He didn't have to. But now,

Tony wasn't a chaser, until now.

Is something bothering him? Tony thought, studying the arm with meticulous concerned eyes as he delicately held it in his hands. Bucky likes this, that much Tony knows. A lot actually. For sure, Tony was the first to initiate this whole meaningless sex Idea to him and interpreted to Bucky's 90's perception what it really meant, However, Bucky continued this. Tony thought it was a one night thing, only to be proved terrifically wrong when the exact night after he was laid on the desk in his own Workshop, moaning under a mess that was greater than the unsorted gadgets lying on his floor.

He chuckled, the memory playing like a lullaby that made his mind all sorts of floaty and clouded until one of the sharp scratches of metal plucked onto his finger and grazed a tiny cut over it. Tony hissed, twitching in annoyance. This is the 5th time in this week, he hated these little cuts. Alas, they existed almost everywhere on his body.

  
Tonight. He thought dazedly. If there is something bothering him, I'll take care of it. It's been a month. I need him.

He wasn't exactly sure if he just needed him for sex, but needing itself was a desperation shocking to his senses. He hadn't needed anyone. Not for sex, at least. He just had things served before asking.

There wasn't anything special about Bucky other than his long, straight, brown strands and intimidating eyes, someone who would not fit Tony's likings. Tony liked short haired people. Also, Bucky was archaic. Tony preferred voguish people. Tony would suitably prefer someone like Steve, ignoring his archaic part, short, blond hairs with light blue eyes. calm and sweet. Completely not stubborn, and Steve also gives little smiles every time when he looks at people. And yet, Tony felt weird thinking of being with someone other than...

  
Yeah.

  
The thing is that Bucky is surprisingly good at sex. This is all that it means. This is why he was repairing that Metal Arm with so much interest as if his life depended on it. He needs to stop.

  
He certainly didn't knew how to stop, or what to stop, or has it even started.

  
Tony got up from his seat and finally decided to leave the workshop, after having the arm fixed anew and keeping it at a reserved place under the glass shield. 

  
He slept. Long. He wasn't sure what he dreamed, but it sounded rough. He didn't mind these dreams now, ashes and fire with metal stinging like pins pricks under his skin. A blue chest rotten with his veins popped out alarmingly. He meets a certain person in these scenarios, probably the most terrorizing ghost he could ever picture. Himself, in those blood stained clothes illuminating with this big flashing light brightening the hollow of his chest and echoes of Yensir shouting like bombs in his ears. He failed. Yensir is dead. And he is alive. Alive and rotten and failed and...

Tony woke up with widened still eyes, staring at the ceiling for a long time.

When will they stop? He asked to himself, getting out of the bed that grew heavy with all the wet sweat it soaked from his body.

  
Tonight. He thought. He don't know why he keeps thinking of it. Every time something triggers him, he thinks of tonight. 

So at night, he began to get ready. Normal black coat with another silk black shirt inside. Black pants. A watch of some kind of famous brand he didn't feel like checking. That was too much black he was wearing, but he guessed he didn't really cared about the preferences. He was preparing for a stupid party that was held for some business purposes, the team involved. 

Which means, Bucky involved.

  
Stop. You're cringy. Tony scolded himself.

  
With a single stroke, he set his hairs that curled behind his ears, didn't bothered to apply any gel because they will be getting messed up at some point tonight anyways.

  
Gosh, fucking stop. 

  
He looked at the mirror and smirked.

  
For God's sake you grosshead, stop behaving like a teenage school girl who flaunts herself in the mirror before her first date.

  
It was almost an hour at the party where there were already a bunch of important personalities and reporters gathering around tony, and his friends were--err, his team were, somewhere far. Or rather, they were forced to stay there since Tony stark was in the Limelight and the reporters didn't wanted themselves disturbed. 

Tony didn't wanted himself disturbed as well, but does anyone ever listen to him? He was pushed rigidly by Steve and Nat to the bunch of Cameras that flashes straight into his eyes, saying that they were okay with that. Hell, Tony wasn't. will anyone ask him if he was okay with that? He liked their company and wanted to stay there and listen to Clint chirping on some weird Yaoi novel that he found on MyReadingManga. He wanted to witness Nat smacking him on the head as he choked lightly on the strong drink he tried for the first time. He wanted to watch Steve's expressions as he ranted on of his brave soldier stories that were so different every time he told them. Tony wondered how many did Steve had in his mind. whatever they were, they almost all contained Bucky in it. Bucky singing songs, Bucky fearing from goats, Bucky crying over his first broken date, Bucky in every role that none of them other than Steve have got to witness. Tony wondered, tried to picture, was it Possible for Bucky to give out such variety of emotions? Such different experiences with lots of feelings. Something completely different from whatever he is now. How those still eyes would look when they sparkled in joy or cried in pain. 

  
All of a sudden, Tony felt that Steve was too damn lucky for his own good. He got to see it all. And God, how Tony longed to see it as well. How beautiful that ever stoic man would look a smile bright as the sun on his lips and eyes damping in happiness. Suddenly, a spark of need busted inside him and he needed to see Bucky. Even those dull, lifeless expressions would be enough.

Gosh, where is that Wierdo?

  
Tony counted the people in his group again, and he was pretty certain he didn't register anyone having long strands put up together in a low bun and silent, boring eyes that looked around grumpily.

  
"Stark, my metal Man!" Fury exclaimed, approaching Tony with a shot of whisky in his hand and his regular signature black suit matching with the eye patch. Did anyone ever told him how cool he looked like that? Like, how could losing an eye make someone look badass? Maybe it was just Tony's wiry mind, or Maybe the eye patch did the work.

  
"There, yes you. Camera guy on left. Click a picture, big one. Make sure I look dashing. And you, Stark, come in here. You did what you promised, huh. I'm impressed. Here's your reward, come in the picture with me." 

  
Tony smiled at the Camera as Fury furiously patted on his shoulder like a proud rigid dad. It was the 15th time he was taking a picture with someone and he was sure that at the end of the party his eyes would go complete blind with the amount of flash caught under them. Fury was the least disturbing person though, at least Tony knew him. There were people who he haven't ever met in his life that were talking about him, to him, like they know him better than him.

  
"Hey, fury," Tony began while looking at the camera, "Mind if I ask you something?" He lowered his tone in uncertainty.

  
"Oh! You want me to give you something? Let me think think about it, Ofcourse! Go on, Stark. You earned it. And wait, I think I already know. You're asking for a vacation right? I get it. You will get one. A long one, actually. Take the whole week off, what say? But not more than that, okay? There are limitations, and after all, you are our very own one and only bright mind yeah?"

  
"No. That's not it. I don't mind a vacation, though. But, it's just, is he not here yet?" Tony asked with hesitation.

  
"Who you talkin' about, Stark?" Fury frowned in confusion, taking his dark black eyes off the Camera and looking at Tony.

  
"Him." Tony pressed on the words. His voice softened in hopefulness.

  
Fury frowned, than sighed unlikely. "No." He stated simply.

  
"No? Wait, why?" Tony grew a little impatient, raising his words.

  
"It'll be better if you stay away for a while from their matter, Stark." Fury stated in a somewhat warning tone.

  
Tony didn't answer. He didn't knew why Fury had anything to do with Bucky and him.

  
"Look," Fury began, "As an owner, I need the best tools for my team, and for the best tools, I need you. I would rather like you to be unharmed since any effect on you would directly affect my Team, and my position as an owner. So Stark, think about it. It will be easier if you don't treat the Winter Soldier any more special than you treat the others, yes?"

  
"I don't treat anyone any differently." Tony muttered, however his words came out like a spat. 

  
"Good, then. The Party is for you, so enjoy it. Cheers." Without saying further, Fury went out of the Picture swiftly. Tony saw him approach another group who welcomes him with praises, there exclamations were so very loud that Tony could hear them from here talking about how innovative the new gadgets for the team was. 

He didn't get the credit. He sighed, it's not like he wanted it anyways. It was just a flick of hair for him. And yet...

  
Tony rolled his eyes, shooing irritating thoughts off his mind. He needed a tough shot of Vodka to gulp in the fact that Bucky wasn't going to come. What is he going to do now? He had no other plans. The Camera flashes made him almost wanting to puke on his shoes and the rich business groups weren't any good for his mind. He wanted to go back to his team. For the next minutes between the everlasting talk of people who surrounded him, all that kept him sane was watching his group sitting on a table through the corner of his eyes.

They are having fun without me, Tony thought, pouting in his mind.

  
His night was officially ruined.

"You cannot treat him like this, Steve, it's unfair." Nat admonished while sipping elegantly on her Martini. Her bright red gown hung lowly at the ground and her face shined between two bright starring studs resting on her ears. "Just imagine what he might be doing sitting in that dark bedroom of his, doing absolutely nothing while we get to have all the fun over here." She reasoned.

  
"So you mean, we are having fun?" Clint asked while scratching his head a she laid on their table with a sleepy expression, "It was better if I stayed at my room and watch Harry Potter instead."

  
"Com'on, you introvert. Get some fun in life. Try to go out more often." Steve said, rolling his eyes at Clint, who shrugged his shoulder at him lazily, "There's music, a dance floor, a bar shop and almost everything fancy. What more do you want?"

  
"Maye three more of our members? Excluding Thor because 1) he is not available to come to earth right now and 2) I don't like how he can't get drunk on Human alcohol. He is no fun at parties." Nat batted, smirking at Steve.

  
Steve sighed in surrender, gesturing he cannot win from her in arguments and also, she was kind of right. 

  
"And above that, why is he not here at the first phrase? Okay like I get he doesn't like crowded places and all that but dude, he would have really enjoyed with the group after a long time. Also, he behaves absolutely cool with Tony around. And Tony's around. Tell me, there is some reason, right?"

  
"Yes." Steve couldn't believe how rapidly he just gave in. And now, he was fucked up.

  
"See! See, Clint! I knew it! I knew something was wrong!" Nat exclaimed, pointing at Steve on her accurate guess as she nudged Clint violently. Clint didn't respond, he was fast asleep with his head bowed to the Table. "Now I'd have to carry him the whole way!" She spoke out loud in a crying manner, looking at Clint's figure in helplessness.

  
"Told you he is not a drinker." Steve shrugged.

  
"Don't you dare change the Topic on here, Captain! Tell me, why isn't Bucky here?" Nat raised his bro, suspiciously eyeing at him. Steve looked at her with helpless eyes. 

  
"Nat, I can't." he began, unable to find words how to make her understand. "You need to believe me, he wanted to be here. But there is something that isn't safe for...you know..." Steve's words ceased in fear, as he looked around from the corner of his eyes. He wasn't particularly looking anywhere. Just, people.

  
"What?" Natasha frowned deeply.

  
"There are--"

  
"Steve, look Behind."

  
"Huh?"

  
"Bucky's here!"

  
"Wait, what?" Steve's eyes widened in horror as he looked behind and found Bucky entering the Hall. "Shit, shit, shit."

  
"What's even wrong?" Nat asked irritatingly.

Steve was under a dilemma and his heart began to thump so hard that he could hear the beats ringing loudly around his ears. Tony was just behind him, right a step away. He was confined by some random people and hence, couldn't really put attention to his surrounding but once, once he turns around, or even feel the sensation of the man behind, he'll react. 

Steve looked around. He could see men facaded in party wears staring right at the Man with the Plain black T-shirt with an arm of metal hiding inside it. And Gosh. Steve knew it. They are all suspicious now, their eyes were narrowing like curious wild cats that were ready to claw anytime at the two most important people in his lives and he is just so frustrated and helpless and...

Tony looked around. 

It was a mere, random glance that Tony couldn't care to cease because he was way too bored with the usual talks of Industrialization and Capitalistic Movements going worldwide over their Rich, Perfect Nation and in order to hide that upcoming yawn, He turned his head to the rest of the party.

And then his yawn started to cease at halfway as his eyes turned browner than usual and face smoothened to a point that it felt like made up of wax.

"Bucky," Tony called, a smile lingering under his tone.

Bucky's figure stilled. His back was facing Tony, and Tony could almost form from his rising shoulder that he was breathing heavily.

"Bucky!" It was another voice's call, desperate and loud and Bucky could almost feel Steve rushing closer to him to take him away. He himself moved, beginning to leave as fast as possible before Tony's hand caught him. Firm and gentle. Like a pool of enormous hope that warmed inside the palm of his skin.

"Hey," Tony whispered shakily, and within the heat of a moment he was dangerously close, so close that it would be enough for anyone to fathom that they had something going on together.

Steve halted in the middle way, staring at the two with horrific, widened eyes and then looking around, witnessing all the narrowed, imposturous eyes only on those two and he felt his world slip a little at the scene.

"Steve, what is happening?" Natasha rushed to him, asking him with curious, confused eyes while holding his arm to her side in rage, "Would you fucking tell me, I am over my goddamn limit!" She whispered annoyingly, trying to keep her voice in check and not making a fuzz out in the public.

Steve exhaled, closing his eyes and opening them again like an exercise to calm his nerves. "You...you see those people around us, those right next to our table, no! Don't look!" He warned her quickly, making her keep her head still from turning. Nat nodded meticulously. "And those behind us, also, two of them right next to Bucky and Tony, they are Hydra agents."

"What in the fucking--"

"SShhh!"

"Sorry, sorry." She stated quietly, trying to ease the urge of looking at the People's faces, "Continue."

"I got this information some days ago that they sneaked inside the Organization for a while, keeping attention on Bucky so that they could know how to take back The Winter soldier."

"And?"

"They cannot take Bucky on their own because he is too powerful for that, so they need to target someone else. Someone for whom Bucky could exchange his place and Go back to Hydra."

"So...you mean, Tony..."

"Yes, they have a suspicion on Tony."

"Why? I mean, because they are good sex partners?"

"I guess. They are not confirmed yet if those two even have a bond more than that. So they stayed for a longer while, I wanted to tell Tony, but they are everywhere! Every fucking where that I never get the chance to and now I feel like they have confirmed it! Tony...Tony likes Bucky. They can use it against him, they're sure of it now. And now I can't do anything because they've already seen them together here and now Tony is in danger!"

"Steve, you know Tony isn't some petite doll, right?"

"Ofcourse, Nat! I fucking know! But he is not in his suit right now and completely unguarded and you know they could target at his reactor easily! They could attack so easily right now and--"

"Okay! Okay. I got it." Natasha repeated in a calming tone, making him understand that she got his reasons. "Why didn't you guys captured them if you already knew?"

"We didn't knew with what preparation they sneaked into the Organization. There might be bombs around us planted by them, they could diffuse them anytime by one, single command. We needed a plan, a good plan, and now because we delayed to make a plan...shit!"

  
"Where are you going?" Tony asked, holding Bucky's hand in place when he tried to leave.

"Leave my hand." Bucky stated with a threat, trying to unclasp their hands with harsh fingers.

"Bucky, what are you--Ow, what the hell?" Tony complained with a low whine, as Bucky finally succeeded in detaching them, almost throwing Tony's hand which was marked with that little cut he got before in the workshop. Bucky didn't realized it, and without giving a single glance, he began to leave.

"No!" Tony rushed forward, catching Bucky in an instant, making him widen his eyes and turning furious, "I'm not letting you go this time!" Tony felt like screaming the words right into his face, but he kept his sanity and whisper-yelled them with sparkling bright eyes blistering in torment. 

He could see a vein popping out on Bucky's forehead, showing how utterly pissed he was with this situation that kind of intimidated Tony to step back for a second, but he didn't. He stood still rooted to his place, waiting for a reply.

Bucky looked around almost secretly at the number of suspecting eyes watching them from their corners, before closing his eyes tight and opening them again before he spat, "What do you want?" His voce was rigid, and Tony could feel the words come out of his mouth in pure menace, "You want your undone sex to be completed, right? You will be getting it at the morning. So right now, leave my hand because there is possibly nothing else we want to ask of each other." Bucky pressed the words, slow and hard enough for the nearby people to hear it clearly because they were the only ones who needed to hear it. They needed to get an idea that this, whatever this is happening between them is a ridiculous, childish pattern of immature lust. And it will stay that way, nothing more, is what he wanted them to know.

Tony's eyes almost twisted in a flicker and he could feel a deep burn etching under the hollow of his heart after hearing those words. Bucky had gotten the wrong idea. Well, not the wrong, but not the right as well. Yes, they were good at just one thing together. But Tony knew Bucky didn't deserved just that. Tony wanted to give him so much more, anything that he could offer, and Bucky completely didn't knew it. He didn't knew anything and it was almost painful to Tony at how oblivious Bucky was to the things Tony felt for him.

"Hey! Stop, at least listen to me!" Tony held Bucky's hand at place again, wrapping it under both of his hands before he left it quite hurriedly just to hold Bucky's face between his palms, firm and assuring, "I need you to...I need you to know something."

Bucky's eyes were shut tight and he denied to look at Tony, "Leave me." He warned in a strong, thick tone that didn't quite sounded his. 

"You never want to know anything!" Tony whispered to him aggressively. Quiet, admonishing eyes looked at Bucky gently, "You make me mad every damn time. And you just, you don't even notice it!" Tony complained, whiny and a little wreckful when his tone broke at the end of his words. 

Bucky went silent for a moment, and Tony couldn't fathom his calm expression. He wasn't looking at Tony, but at the floor. He had tiny little frowns on his forehead, the ones that occur when he would think of something deeply. But Tony didn't knew what.

Bucky was thinking of an escape. Anything that could get Tony out of this mess. Tony had nothing to do with him, with his past. He have nothing to do with whatever critical fate that was about to arrive for Bucky, and he needed to think of something. Right here, right now. Anything. They have already seen them together. They are confirmed about this, they knew there is something, and Bucky needs to break it. He can't help himself. There's one damn thing that he can be able to fix and he will. He has to be worth of something.

Anything.

"Fine." Bucky muttered with heaviness, closed his eyes again, tightly shut, opened them and there was a challenge in his eyes that Tony couldn't quite describe. "You're mad at me now, right?"

Tony frowned in confusion.

"Then hit me." 

His brown eyes widened in trepidation as he stared at Bucky in complete bafflement. Tony backed off his hands from Bucky's face, not even close to think about what Bucky had said.

"Are you nuts?!" He whispered with a half voice, half felt like fading away in surprise, "Not every solution for your weird mood sets is fighting, you dumbass, what are you thinki-_"

"Now!" Bucky raised his voice in pertness, like a poison, turning the eyes around him more curious than they were before.

"No." Tony stated quietly, looking at Bucky with a straight face. His eyes were focused and Bucky could tell he was not going to be pestered or triggered by those rough words anymore.

"No?" Bucky asked like a mockery, his eyes narrowed in uncertainty and Tony felt himself turning liquid at the question. A tiny, faint amount of fear resided inside him and he frowned. His heart beat quickened at the face that Bucky made because Tony knew that look. It symbolized something terrible, something completely unknown to Tony and he feared the uncertainty of it, and just what he feared of right then, happened.

Bucky clasped his hand behind Tony's waist and pulled him firmly close, before taking his lips and forcing him into Submission. Tony felt stars sparkling at the back of his eyes and for a moment, there was absolutely nothing that he could think of other than the slick tongue that ravished inside his mouth, hot and dominating.  
Tony was just about to give into the shaking sensation that made him almost loose his eyes into closing, when he opened them again and realized that there was a whole goddamn party witnessing their scene.

His senses shook in danger. This wasn't safe. Tony was okay, he didn't care. There were a bunch of articles on the Media that always covered him lewd and open in the news and he was completely used to it. One more picture wouldn't causing any harm. But, Bucky. It was all new to Bucky and he could almost picture a mob of press that would surround Bucky wherever he would go, destructing his peace and security after the sight of this incident and Gosh, Tony don't want that. He have already gone through that and he knew how frustrating it is and with Bucky, with all the mess he is going through, he won't be able to handle that. 

He needed to stop. So Tony pushed him, hard. At least he tried to. However, Bucky was stronger, and that Metal arm could pick almost all of his body just on its weight. He was completely caged. 

There was a low flick under Tony's tongue that finally loosened whatever remaining consciousness Tony was carrying, and his eyes shut close going complete white, Just before he felt a sharp pain gnawing over the skin of his bottom lip.

Bucky was biting him, stinging furious and inescapable that Tony felt triggered. His heart was beating so loudly he felt like it would burst out from his chest and he needed space because it was too warm, too much in such a little time that it became ominously suffocating.

It was the harsh grip over Tony's back and digging, sharp fingers of Bucky over it that spasmed Tony's whole body and channeled his hands to swiftly move across Bucky's face.

Within a moment, Bucky fell several steps away from Tony. 

Plunging coldness enveloped Tony's body as soon as he felt himself parted away. His legs were wobbly and he felt like he had no bones under them before he held himself together and looked up, eyes turning complete blur and ears forming silent gasps from people at every direction.

Tony's eyes came to focus and he witnessed Bucky, standing in front of him at an unwanted distance, panting heavily. His face was sweaty, just like Tony's whole body. His lips stung with a thin syrup of the blood that oozed from Tony's mouth. There was a burning, fresh, red bruise over his cheek. Tony's eyes widened and he gasped. 

He punched Bucky. 

Bucky didn't spared him another look as just after being pushed, he swiftly left the hall, studying the inattentive roll of eyes from the people that were curious some moments ago.

Suddenly, the air around Tony turned toxic as his lungs felt like taking ash and his body shook with aftereffects of something he couldn't really figure out. His head was almost empty and yet filled with some kind of fogginess that kept him standing straight. He felt his steps moving away from the eyes of people, there were camera flashes all over him, around him, and he didn't care. It was so usual and habitual that he couldn't be bothered anymore.

"Tony, wait!" Although his ears were still ringing with the noisy gasps of people, he could still form Natasha's voice from afar, calling out to him, but he was in a daze and stopping on his feet felt like losing his religion.

Soon enough, Tony found himself in the washroom. He turned back, locked the door fuzzily, and sank down right there on the floor.

  
There were tumults of spasm running through his body like overpowered veins and he didn't knew how to calm down. He got up, walked to basin, and looked at himself in the mirror.

  
He couldn't believe how different his eyes seemed. How they were two complete blacks overtaken with so much inside them. What is happening?

  
He punched Bucky, reality engulfed him like a trauma. He punched him in the face in front of a hundred people around and now it will be on the news. Everywhere. Bucky will be ashamed, and Tony will be responsible for it. What was he thinking! What was he...

  
Tony felt like punching himself and his teeth chattered violently staring at the reflection. He was such a loser. such a fucking, little, selfish, bastar--

There was a disturbance at the door. Someone came inside. He could feel the footsteps coming in. Tony frowned, had he not locked the door properly?

Shit, his hands were shaking far too much that he couldn't even fucking lock the properly and now there was a person inside who could witness his messed up form completely and if this was some random reporter coming to take a click, then he was fucked for his entire life because there will be photos of him every damn where they would they would show that what a pity he was and God, Tony didn't want that. He was fine with being the arrogant prick and rich bastard and shameless man whore and what not. But not this. not a pity. He prayed, God, just don't.

  
Don't.

  
Tony turned around, guarding up and standing firmly straight to eye dangerously at whoever it was to get out of the washroom and leave him alone and...

  
It was Bucky.

He felt his legs give up again. He didn't know what it quite was, but he guessed that the contentment took him aback with such a pressure that he wasn't be able to keep standing. Tony was sure he was going to hit the ground soon, only that he didn't.

  
Bucky caught him fast, almost unnoticingly, and held his wrist, firm and tight, driving him to the nearest Basin and clasping his waist with his metal arm in a grip tight enough to hold him up and make him sit on the counter.

Tony's senses began to buzz in sleepiness. He felt like swinging on one of those Giant wheels in childhood that spun around so fast it would make him want to throw up once he'd got out of them. Only, now that his head wasn't spinning. Just still. Held there at place.

"They won't be suspicious anymore." Bucky was saying something. Tony couldn't hear. He wanted to, but he felt like he would rather like to hear silence. "Show me your lip."

  
He felt a soft pad of thumb over his lower lip, pin prickingly careful as it ghastly rubbed around the bitten area. Bucky examined the redness, puffed out now and not extracting anymore blood, just throbbing, and he hissed audible staring at it. 

  
Tony frowned. Why was Bucky hissing? Has something caused him pain? Tony thought, completely forgetting about his swollen lip. He opened his eyes that he never knew were closed until now, and witnessed the sharp rash over Bucky's cheek.

"Shit, shit, I..." Tony ran a shaking, desperate palm over his cheek, not touching it, just hovering, and his eyes turned liquid. "What have I done?" He whispered in a ghostly manner, All the previous faintness and fuzz washed out from his mind as the etching skin of his cheek shook him out of his cloud. "I'm sorry, you can do the same to me. Or...kiss me again. You can--you can kiss me again, you can kiss me however you want, I just, I don't know what got into me, I don't--I'm so, so sorry." When Tony's mouth was blabbering dumb, dear apologies, Bucky wasn't really listening to them as he was busy buttoning up one of the opened front buttons of Tony's shirt. Tony didn't realized when did they got plucked out, or when did his hairs turned into a disheveled mess when Bucky was tugging them back, "I'm sor--" 

"Shhh. Nothing happened." Bucky assured shortly, pausing the brittle breaking of Tony's voice piece by piece in the middle. "Nothing happened." he stated again, this time more contended, as his lips tugged silently at one corner in a microscopic, tiny smile.

"What is happening?" There was an undeniable tremor under Tony's tone which stated how diffcult it was for him to be so unknown of whatever it was going around them, it was eating him as if he couldn't have any control over his actions.

"I'll tell you. Believe me, I will." Bucky's voice was soft yet pressed out in a convincing tone as he squeezed his hand lightly under Tony's, somewhat like an apology. "Right now, just stay this way."

Tony was fine that. More than fine. It was something that he wanted to do more than anything. Do nothing and just stay still and hear low, palpable breaths and heartbeats that he knew weren't going to calm for as long as the other was there.

"Tony!" 

Tony shook violently as the loud call of his name was somewhat disturbing the wanting silence between them. It was Natasha, and all of a sudden it became too difficult for him to think how he will handle his situation.

He looked at Bucky who was staring downwards, as if contemplating something. Bucky sighed tiredly, before looking up at Tony and stroking a callous finger faintly over Tony's cheek, "Tell her to wait." He whispered silently. 

Tony stared at him for a brief moment with lost, dazed eyes before turning away to shout, "Nat, wait. Wait, I'm coming outside!"

"You don't have to fool me there, okay? I know he's outside."


End file.
